An Invitation To Go Home

I remember when I was a kid, on sixth grade if i’m not mistakenly remember, I got a birthday party invitation from a friend. The address was: APT Gandaria. My cousin, he’s about 10 years older, drove me to the party. We were unable to find the location as the phrase APT was such a mystery. After three times got lost into the wrong neighborhood, we finally solved the mystery–APT stands for Apartment. Back then apartments were not as many as today, so we were not aware/familiar with the acronym. That was an invitation that was like a mystery.
After attending more birthday parties during my pubescent age, I learned that there are other kinds of invitation-work interview. My first work interview was in 2009, I was an undergrad, looking for extra money so I applied to a study center on campus to be a secretary. I remember I was nervous, so briefed myself about possible questions and what the best answers were. I was a bit stammered in the beginning but then got my confidence. I ended up working there for two years. That was an invitation that was like a life lesson.
I got so good at working interviews, as time goes by. I’m almost always able to steal the interviewer’s heart and they end up recruting me. But, there were times when I failed as well. And these times were the best lessons:sometimes it’s not because you’re not good, it’s just because you’re not meant to be there. After trying to figure out what I want to do for the rest of my life, I work my way through, and still am. And you know how time flies, right? How you got so deep in your own little circle, building a life you think was righy for you. Until one day, everything you have done to create your own life and happiness just collapsed in front of you. Yep. Just like that.

And here comes a new invitation. A call for going ‘home’. In your exhaustion, your desperation, you need someone there to tell you everything’s going to OK. Someone who hug you, who lifts you up. And when you get older this circle of friends is getting smaller. And your bestest friend is just so far away from you.

I pray. I realize that it’s just not possible for me to handle all things by myself. That it’s just impossible to understand why good, hard working, honest and caring people will still end up falling apart and ‘losing’. I choose to believe that there’s this greater power that control chain of events and all I can do is to just surrender. So I pray. I go back home, collecting the pieces of my broken heart, finding myself, accepting the bitter truth that I just… have to start all over again. It’s not easy. But being grounded, finding the center of your life again is truly a blessing. And it’s just come to my understanding, which is probably hypothetical or even a paradox, that no matter what your problems are, they’re just temporary. They’re just reminders of what other important, more urgent matters you need to do. And then, sooner than you had expected, you’ll get back to normal. Things starting to change and it all comes back to you.

This is an invitation to realize what is truly essential in life.

via Daily Prompt: Invitation

Advertisements

The COME BACK!

I know it’s been a while since I last write

It has been a tough year for me

Especially the last few months

I feel like I want to tell you everything

But I realize it’s pointless

It is also an excuse for not writing

I have been writing, but never thought that they’re worth to publish

And I’ve written various topics as well, I didn’t know where to start

There’s this piece about over-thinking

About the struggle in finding what’s best for you and your family

About the loneliness that sometimes crawling in the most vulnerable moments in our lives

About the new movie series trend

About the anger of not capable to do about the things getting out of our control

About marriage-whether to marry the devil you know or with a new devil

And there is about the difference between working for yourself and for other people

I have no idea where to start.

While I was away from the blogging world, I notice that there are a lot of things going on here as well. And I must admit, that I really like the current system of the blogging university. And I just registered to join the “Branding and Growth Course”. I hope I can get insights and at the same time contribute a little of my experience in the group.

Share your thoughts in the comment on things I should write first. Or better yet, if you can tell me how to organize those pieces into one big piece of writing.

 

Cheers!

What difference does it make?

December. It’s the most wonderful time of the year because I’m going to celebrate Christmas. My husband does not celebrate Christmas.
When I married him, I thought it’s going to be easy as we went through 8 Christmases together but not really celebrating it ‘together’-if you know what I’m saying. Apparently it’s a little difficult than I imagined.
I’m the only one in the house who is so excited to build up Christmas tree, buy new Christmas lights, thinking about cooking something special, choosing when to go to the Mass, etc. I have to admit that I’m a bit lonely.

Then I started thinking if I had married a Catholic guy. I would be able to share this joy with him. Went out to buy new big Christmas tree or made one from reusable items, went to church together, cooked a special dinner with Christmas spirit. Or not.

You see, my parents are Catholic. But I have never seen them happily greeted the festive month. You know what I’ve seen mostly? Fights. Yep. They’d argue, they’d fight, they’d yell at each other, my mom would then leave the house, or we’d all be so tense at the mall because…we just do. It sounds ‘festive’ alright, but in the other way around. It still happens every year, up till last year. I’m honestly a little traumatic when talking about Christmas, but deep down I’m always excited and wishing I could have my own kind of Christmas.

Okay, so hubby may not fully understand why I’m having butterfly in my stomach and so eager to build a Christmas tree. And he won’t be there sitting next to me at the church singing Silent Night together. But, does that mean he can’t be joyful and happy for me?
I asked him a couple of days ago, “Do you find any problems about religion since we’re married?” he said, “nope.”

So, what difference does it make? I realize that all I need is someone who can respect and support me and my needs. He may not be next to my seat at the church and he may not understand the happiness that Christ the Savior has born, but he’s definitely supportive and respectful; moreover, he’s willing to help me build my own Christmas tree. No fights. No arguments. No neck-hard-tense situation.

I was reminded, it is the essence that’s important. This year is the first time ever that I would celebrate Christmas only with my husband. And we’re going to rock this Christmas with laughter and joy despite our different faith.

 

Lazy Saturday

So it’s the last saturday in November. How quick time went by, eh? 

It’s usually our lazy day, but we try to keep focus and motivated. Just so you know, not to get drowned in the laziness. 

Sometimes I make a list of a month achievements and expectations for the next month. 

Here you go:

1. Worked out more often

2. Reduced my anger (no serious fights in this month) 

3. Met my to-do-list more often

4. Had a short refreshing trip with ma family. 

Expectations:

1. Work out 3-5 times a week (I need this as I’m really weak, I need to get stronger so I’m not gonna get sick easily).

2. Cook every weekend (for the sake of healthiness and cost effective strategy).

3. Stay calm-anger management

4. Buy a christmas tree

That’s it! Do you have similar list like mine? Share it here, in the comments 😊 

Gratia

One of the things I learned from writing101 is make collections of word prompt. I did. I picked one up and it turned out to be ‘grace’ or gratia in Latin.

To be honest with you, this is one of the hardest weeks. And to write something about grace is almost impossible. I was stunned for a minute or two, thinking how on earth on this difficult times could I write something about grace?

My friend was only 24 when he breathed his last breath. Even I feel it’s not fair, let alone his parents. I remember the priest’s sermon on my friend’s funeral. He said that this is the time when we question our faith. This is the time when we question His being, His wisdom. And it’s so difficult to find somewhat a blessing during grievance.

I know I am not in the exact same agony. So I started to think backwards, reflect on everything that has happened this week. Then all my blessings seems countless. It doesn’t fix my problems, of course, but it keeps me focus on doing what I am doing. It keeps me steady. And these are all little things like the fact that I’m still healthy, I didn’t have to prepare or buy lunch twice this week when I was really short on money, today my father transferred some money to help me and my husband during this crisis, I’m employed, I helped people with my suggestions and actions, and many other things.

The little things that I need. Maybe they’re not representing of things I wanted, but I need them.

I hate myself for even wondering what to be grateful about. I know I haven’t been complaining, but not knowing that I’m still blessed even during this tough times, is already complaining.

Some of you must be celebrating Thanksgiving. I wish you all a happy thanksgiving day.

I don’t celebrate thanksgiving. But I really thanked the universe for showing me, once again, that everything in this life is temporary and that I have to surrender to the almighty.

I hope you,too, have something to be grateful for no matter how terrible your current situation is.

Happy Thanksgiving.