Clinging on The Cracked Foundation


There are times in life when things don’t go as planned and are so unexpected. At times like this, I often blame myself and get angry at myself, sometimes even at the uncontrolled situation. Lately, I even want to run away and trade this life with something new. After an investment gone wrong last July, now I may have been a victim of a fraud. I was so desperate to get extra job, so I made an agreement with a person in Mali who wanted to hire me to translate her book. But then things got weird, such as I need to pay for a deposit of guarantee-this is they (the bank in Mali) said as a guarantee that the fund transferred to my account is not for money laundering or pay for terrorist activities-and a tax certificate. I double checked with the lady hiring me, who, at that time, was in Morocco attending her sick son, and she said to do what the bank’s said (after she herself swearing at the complication of the process and apologized for that matter) and sent me a scanned passport of hers. I have to tell you that she is a respectable person in her country-she was a former Minister and former leader of United Nation’s organization. After a few weeks, there was no transfer from Mali and when I checked, they said they have problems with the currency conversion. And I had to make another payment to solve the problem. I did not want to make any more payments for things that clearly are not my responsibilities. Unfortunately, the lady who hired me is ‘inconsolable’-quoting the bank-as her sick son passed away, hence, she cannot be reached and won’t give any response. The bank said that if I refuse to pay, the payments I’ve made earlier will be gone. Non-refundable. So, I asked the bank to give me proof/receipt of the transfer that they claimed to have done, but of course, they did not response.

So here I am, writing a post sharing bitter experience and I just hope that probably the readers learn from my mistakes or even give advice to me about what to do next.

I guess, despite all the efforts we take to make things better, we also need to be extra careful on determining that efforts. I learned that I need to have calm and careful approach in finding solutions. I was angry at the situation, at the universe, because all I wanted to do-with the investments, with the job in Mali-is to save extra money so I can pursue higher education. I cannot only rely on scholarships. And most of all, the thing that makes me even more angry is that I am a hard worker, I do good, I volunteer.

So this, my friends, is my turning point. Life is unfair, I know it, you know it. With all of this problems, all I know is to keep moving forward. Even though it’s so hard to get out of bed, to look at myself in the mirror, to go to work and face the day, but this too, shall pass. I have no idea what’s going to happen next, but surely my foundation cracked to pieces and I can only cling there hoping it won’t get any worse than this.



Author: Maria Ambarastuti

A wife, a worker, a dreamer. trying to live her life to the fullest and continue to search for ways to enrich life. drop me an email for further chats:

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