When We Are Tied To Commitments

Commitment binds us. It is unavoidable. Just name it, relationships, debts, work, study, even your passion demands your commitment and thus bind you to it.
While some of us may see commitment burdening, some of us see it as a learning process to grow. You may have different feelings about it, as well.

My first encounter with commitment was when I was very little. My parents taught me that if I want something, I have to work my way to get it. I have to set out some plans, be committed and focus. As an adult now I have extra commitments. To pay the bills, to excel in my job, to be a good wife and partner, and what-not.

And it’s not a joke when my parents said that I have to work my way to get what I want. From saving money even though that would mean I won’t have lunch to work double job here and there to save enough so I could live the next day. I felt I was under a lot of pressure and I had to crawl my way up through college and finally establish myself as professional translator&interpreter. It was one of the hardest times in my life.

So yeah, commitment sounds sucks. Why should we bind ourselves to the never ending consequences? We should be free, live happy, right? We should be able to enjoy what we earned and let’s not care about the people surrounding us. Let’s not buy our parents something nice, or give some clothes for the poor, or provide some of our time to serve others in need. I work hard, I did my part, so should everybody else. We all should do whatever we want. Right?


See, Christopher Mccandless once said, “happiness is only real when shared.” He was committed to live free, without binding himself to anything in the world, even money, but in the end he realizes that it’s all just not the right thing to do and he carve that quotation on a wood. 

We are interconnected with our surroundings.There’s always cause and effect. There’s always a reason for something. Imagine if we just want money but do nothing to earn it. A few people are ‘lucky’ to actually able to have money and not working, or at least not as hard as we thought. But I do believe such lifestyle is not without consequences.

In the past I often complain about a lot of things, including why do we never have enough money to go on a holiday abroad, to buy some fancy clothes, etc. But as I work hard in many many hours, I got to a standing point where money isn’t everything. Money is the bonus. Do I mean that money is not important? No. But since I’m talking about commitment, what I want to emphasize is the process that I, you, we, get through.

As we plunge ourselves into a certain lifestyle or dream we want to have or achieve, there are commitments and consequences that entail. We will have to compromise with uncertainties, doubts, and the cruel things the world might thrown at us. But as I once wrote in Love Hate Love Hate Love that “there is nothing life throws at me that I can’t throw back harder”, we might bounce back from all the sorrows and despair.

Commitments also take courage and faith. I am sure we are all brave and kind hearted people. We will fight hard and yet surrender to the greater will. Ultimately, we will understand the meaning to be a person as a whole and will leave the world with smile. Therefore, commitments are the inevitable for human beings. Pope Francis once suggested a list of resolutions and one of them is to “make commitments, such as marriage.”

So yeah, it seems like commitments can be a burden but they can also liberate us. Like Mother Theresa said, “I have found a paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.”



Author: Maria Ambarastuti

A wife, a worker, a dreamer. trying to live her life to the fullest and continue to search for ways to enrich life. drop me an email for further chats: m.ambarastuti@gmail.com

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