What difference does it make?

December. It’s the most wonderful time of the year because I’m going to celebrate Christmas. My husband does not celebrate Christmas.
When I married him, I thought it’s going to be easy as we went through 8 Christmases together but not really celebrating it ‘together’-if you know what I’m saying. Apparently it’s a little difficult than I imagined.
I’m the only one in the house who is so excited to build up Christmas tree, buy new Christmas lights, thinking about cooking something special, choosing when to go to the Mass, etc. I have to admit that I’m a bit lonely.

Then I started thinking if I had married a Catholic guy. I would be able to share this joy with him. Went out to buy new big Christmas tree or made one from reusable items, went to church together, cooked a special dinner with Christmas spirit. Or not.

You see, my parents are Catholic. But I have never seen them happily greeted the festive month. You know what I’ve seen mostly? Fights. Yep. They’d argue, they’d fight, they’d yell at each other, my mom would then leave the house, or we’d all be so tense at the mall because…we just do. It sounds ‘festive’ alright, but in the other way around. It still happens every year, up till last year. I’m honestly a little traumatic when talking about Christmas, but deep down I’m always excited and wishing I could have my own kind of Christmas.

Okay, so hubby may not fully understand why I’m having butterfly in my stomach and so eager to build a Christmas tree. And he won’t be there sitting next to me at the church singing Silent Night together. But, does that mean he can’t be joyful and happy for me?
I asked him a couple of days ago, “Do you find any problems about religion since we’re married?” he said, “nope.”

So, what difference does it make? I realize that all I need is someone who can respect and support me and my needs. He may not be next to my seat at the church and he may not understand the happiness that Christ the Savior has born, but he’s definitely supportive and respectful; moreover, he’s willing to help me build my own Christmas tree. No fights. No arguments. No neck-hard-tense situation.

I was reminded, it is the essence that’s important. This year is the first time ever that I would celebrate Christmas only with my husband. And we’re going to rock this Christmas with laughter and joy despite our different faith.



Author: Maria Ambarastuti

A wife, a worker, a dreamer. trying to live her life to the fullest and continue to search for ways to enrich life. drop me an email for further chats: m.ambarastuti@gmail.com

2 thoughts on “What difference does it make?”

  1. Oh oh en oh! I can relate to this in so many ways. I am catholic, my husband is not. He is not even baptized – we have a mixed marriage – with needed special permission from our priest. He is very much into Christmas though. The cosy, family (and a bit commercial) part.
    I must admit that, since my little boy was born and we have moved, the spiritual part is very limited for me too… I forget about Advent, I’m not going to the mass (mostly because the hour is completely ridiculous for families with little children…) I hope to change that – I teach (about) religion to 16-years old, but my son doesn’t see a thing from me. Typing this makes me a little sad. It’s not my husband, it’s me. I have to root in a community again, and honestly, it’s harder to do that without him, even if he supports me.

    Thanks for the post, and I wish you the most joyful holidays filled with your own traditions!


    1. Aww…it feels good to know I’m not alone. It is hard to join in community when your husband can’t be there with you-I can totally relate to this. but I try it anyway. I don’t push myself too hard,though. I think the most important thing is we try to start do something-engaging with the community, even though it’s hard at first but the people in the community will help and support us and it’s getting easier for me over time.


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