Gratia

One of the things I learned from writing101 is make collections of word prompt. I did. I picked one up and it turned out to be ‘grace’ or gratia in Latin.

To be honest with you, this is one of the hardest weeks. And to write something about grace is almost impossible. I was stunned for a minute or two, thinking how on earth on this difficult times could I write something about grace?

My friend was only 24 when he breathed his last breath. Even I feel it’s not fair, let alone his parents. I remember the priest’s sermon on my friend’s funeral. He said that this is the time when we question our faith. This is the time when we question His being, His wisdom. And it’s so difficult to find somewhat a blessing during grievance.

I know I am not in the exact same agony. So I started to think backwards, reflect on everything that has happened this week. Then all my blessings seems countless. It doesn’t fix my problems, of course, but it keeps me focus on doing what I am doing. It keeps me steady. And these are all little things like the fact that I’m still healthy, I didn’t have to prepare or buy lunch twice this week when I was really short on money, today my father transferred some money to help me and my husband during this crisis, I’m employed, I helped people with my suggestions and actions, and many other things.

The little things that I need. Maybe they’re not representing of things I wanted, but I need them.

I hate myself for even wondering what to be grateful about. I know I haven’t been complaining, but not knowing that I’m still blessed even during this tough times, is already complaining.

Some of you must be celebrating Thanksgiving. I wish you all a happy thanksgiving day.

I don’t celebrate thanksgiving. But I really thanked the universe for showing me, once again, that everything in this life is temporary and that I have to surrender to the almighty.

I hope you,too, have something to be grateful for no matter how terrible your current situation is.

Happy Thanksgiving.

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Author: Maria Ambarastuti

A wife, a worker, a dreamer. trying to live her life to the fullest and continue to search for ways to enrich life. drop me an email for further chats: m.ambarastuti@gmail.com

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