Have you ever look yourself in the mirror and wonder how did you get here?
Have you ever question your judgment, your decision in the past or present that lead you to where you are now?
In the past several weeks those questions cross my mind every now and then. Sometimes I stop working or doing anything I was doing for a while to think about it, and sometimes I let it pass.
Today, I looked myself in the mirror and think about the changes I’ve gone through in life. Memories flashes as I blinked. I couldn’t stop the flow of my own mind. It took me down on a memory lane so long that my vision got blurred. I stopped on a moment when I decided to be a tough girl. I was so young, I barely reached my fifteenth year in life. But that moment changed everything. I started to believe that all the problems I have in life is all my own fault and I had to fix it. In my life, I have always been tough on myself and I became hard as a rock. I take everything in my own hand and I take them seriously.
I tried to look deeper, to find out the cause of my hardness and toughness. But ah, no matter. I don’t really want to know. It’ll only make me sad and linger in the past, which is the least I want to do in my life.
So I ask several different questions:
What to do? How to do it?
Is it too late to change?